Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
