It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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