She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize