Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
God, I missed his penis.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
