dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Someone came in the potted fern
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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