real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
