I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
