JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
