yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
We left an ass print on the piano.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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