Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
