Fine. I'll sleep in my office
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
