Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
