so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
