I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
