I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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