then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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