no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize