You smell like a Billy Joel song
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
