bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
