The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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