So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize