you guys were way drunker than both of me
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
