doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
