Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You dont lie about slip and slides
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
