How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
