Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
