You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Randomize
