I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
