I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
