Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My breasts were aching with rage.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
