It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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