If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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