I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
