did you get engaged???
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
