Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
