Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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