The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I want to fling myself into the sun
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
