false alarm. still invincible.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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