if only i could text you this smell
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
