so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
you traded sex for a burrito?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
