If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
