You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
