put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
areolas are like halos for boobs.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
