They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
