STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
