My hand turned me down
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize