I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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