i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
