she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I will be naked everywhere
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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