um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
