she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
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