I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
