I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Randomize
