Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
