It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
