He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
