You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I smell like Dick and happiness
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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