I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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