we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I cut my penus on the lid.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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