Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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