Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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