My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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