I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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